Amusing Student Typos and Writing Excerpts

While grading essays this weekend, I came across some ill-written phrases. This led me to jot them down and attempt to track down some other amusing lines I've come across in the last two years. This is a daunting task, as I generally jot them down on whatever scrap of paper is closest at the time, so I'm sure there will be further installments as I wade through my papers.

In one girl's journal, she writes that she overslept one morning and had about one minute to eat a "bowel of cereal." Hmm...I wonder where one goes to acquire that. And when I learn where, I will steer clear of said establishment.

Another honestly admitted, "I don’t like to talk in conformation class." That's right, you don't! You'll stay silent and unnoticed like everyone else! No one is to stand out...uniformity is the aim or we will bark intimidatingly at you until you slink back into your seats!

Another poetically stated, "I was a minuet away from death." If only it hadn't been a spelling error that Microsoft Word overlooked...

It's a struggle for some students to wrap their minds around the idea of theme. How are they to distance themselves enough to come up with a motif instead of trying to reiterate the plot? This student didn't figure it out, but sure tried. "The moral of this story is when you go to the gas station and leave your car (and you have kids), either lock the door behind you and take the keys out of the car, or just take your kids inside with you." Whew!

Another student struggled with determinining themes in her book. She did fairly well in penning universal statements until this one: "Get milk instead of Fritos."

Another one was commenting on the plot in her book. This gives us an insight to what we already knew were the rankings of importance in a teenager's life. "When Lara is diagnosed with her disease, her 'friends' get rid of her, and her mom and dad get divorced, and worst of all, her boyfriend breaks up with her."

Harry Potter is ever popular at any age. One student, after having read one of J.K. Rowling's books, had an amusing typo when describing the setting of the series: "Another [setting] is 24 Privet Drive; that is where Harry and his mean aunt, uncle, and cosine live." I think something shady is going on there. Can you really count a mathematical term as a dependent? Someone from the IRS should look into that.

This last one may not resonate with many of you, as I have a dry sense of humor, but I hope this gives some a smile as they spot the irony. The student is praising his natural genius at tutoring others: "In order to be a teacher you have to be a intellectual like me." I wonder if, in order to qualify as "a intellectual," you must misuse your articles.